Minimizing Conflict When Planning a Later Memorial

Planning a memorial is such an opportunity, but it can also become a stressful experience. People often decide to hold a memorial during a more opportune time, when more family members can attend. They may choose a spring or summer date to avoid having to host the service in the cold of winter, for example. By establishing plans in advance, making reasonable accommodations for family and providing for clear communication, memorial hosts reduce arguments and stress during the memorial. Planning Ahead One of the biggest problems families face when they decide not to hold a memorial shortly after a person’s death is a decision about the timing.

This can be a unique obstacle with memorials in general, because unlike a traditional burial, there is no pressure to have the memorial right away. However, plans should be put in place as soon as possible so that family members can make arrangement to attend. This minimizes the likelihood of confusion about the timing and frustration about the overall plans. Reasonable Accommodations Many families like to plan a destination memorial, but this poses a lot of the same problems to family members as a destination wedding might. It is extremely important for family and friends’ emotional well-being for them to have the opportunity to grieve with their loved ones and get a chance to say goodbye. If the person planning the memorial selects a location that is difficult to get to, or is hundreds of miles away, it is also prudent to offer a smaller memorial ceremony in a location close to the place where most family members live. That way, the ashes may be scattered in a great location, but everyone gets a chance to take a part in the final sendoff.

Communicating Openly As with all parts of planning a funeral or memorial service, it is vital for hosts to communicate their expectations and preferences to family members as soon as possible. If a person decides to have their ashes scattered on a distant island with a huge party on the beach, family members should be notified when death is imminent so that they can start to prepare. Communication minimizes the likelihood of conflict on the day of the actual memorial and what their final wishes were, such as a cremation Albany, as opposed to a burial. No one wants a stressful memorial, so people often schedule the ceremony for a later date for their convenience. To avoid disagreements and frustration, it is crucial to make plans clear to family members, and accommodate people’s needs.